My Box

Sorry bad sad poetry follows, I am feeling low and need to get it out.   I have pushed back, I have fought hard. It’s never ending, it flows on and on. But there is always the box.   I am retreating, I am worn down. It is encompassing, it is pushing me to the … Continue reading My Box

Taken Down by a Pizza

The pizza was the final straw, the last part of a jigsaw that came together to to bring me the special of the day, a shut down. To anyone around I'm sure it looks as though I am behaving like a spoilt child sulking over not getting what they wanted, there may be a tiny … Continue reading Taken Down by a Pizza

Something is not Nothing

I find that I am often drawn to the more pessimistic possibilities when approaching something that is anxiety provoking. This is in no way help by the fact that when confronted by something new or different or scary I have to know all there is to know. When this coincides with a new interest or … Continue reading Something is not Nothing

What’s going on?

I would never claim that I have a hard life or that things are unfair, whilst it certainly isn't easy and there have been some straight up horrible bits, I am in many ways incredibly lucky. That said I feel like I'm on a bungee cord above the opening of a volcano, one minute I … Continue reading What’s going on?

Fun, Fitness and Pain.

Sometime your mind and body do not agree and for me that is defiantly what is happening. Now I'm not old by any stretch of the imagination at least I'm not if your an adult, the children I work with think I'm ancient. The grey is starting to appear in my beard and I've been … Continue reading Fun, Fitness and Pain.

I Still Don’t Know if I’m Happy

I've been trying to figure out lately what happy is so I can know if it describes me. Now I have a very clear idea of what it means to be unhappy in fact I know what it means to be crushingly miserable but this is not about that. This is about happy, something that … Continue reading I Still Don’t Know if I’m Happy

Dropping Out

For the last week and a half I have as much as possible dropped out, devoting what spoons I have to the essentials to get through the day. This is largely due to the avalanche of problems that hit in one week from which I am yet to recover and in part because of the … Continue reading Dropping Out