Sorry bad sad poetry follows, I am feeling low and need to get it out.

 

I have pushed back, I have fought hard.

It’s never ending, it flows on and on.

But there is always the box.

 

I am retreating, I am worn down.

It is encompassing, it is pushing me to the ground.

But there is always the box.

 

I will not fight, I will not fear.

It has me now, it has taken the day.

But there is always the box.

 

The box it is silent, the box it is clear.

It is stuck on the outside, it cannot reach its prey.

But maybe I should stay?

 

The box is a shelter, the box makes me free.

It will dwell with another, it will seas out of tears.

But maybe I should stay?

 

The box it has no exit, the box will admit only me.

It feels what it is to be without, it feels what it is to be me.

But maybe I should stay?

 

I do not wish to be alone, I do not want to be no more.

I do not want to feel this way, I do not want to feel at all.

My box it calls to me.

 

I am not wanting to disappear, I am not wanting to fade this day.

I am not sure I should have ever been, I am not sure that I should stay.

My box it calls to me.

 

I can cling on to what remains, I can try to hold myself within.

I cannot dream of things to come, I cannot expect to sing one day.

My box it calls to me.

 

My box is not a coffin, my box is not my end.

My box is silent free of pain, my box helps me be free.

My box turns everything away, but me allows to stay.

 

My box it holds me in its arms, and hides me from my sorrow.

My box it does not question me, my box it does judge.

My box turns everything away, but me allows to stay.

 

My box will be my home someday, my box will be my sanctuary.

My box will wrap me warm inside, my box will mute it all.

My box turns everything away, but me allows to stay.

 

I do not know if I will climb inside my box today, I do not know if I can find the way.

I will not fight this pain forever, I will not endlessly carry on this way.

My box one day I will open up and in it’s arms I’ll stay.
Aspie and Proud

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