A few events have happened over the last week that have left me wondering about the nature of conflict.
Conflict exists to varying degrees everywhere, it sits within each of us expanding outwards touching not only those around us but also others with whom we have no contact or knowledge. Not all conflict is “bad” indeed most forms are positive leading to progression, change and development. Conflict allows the status quo to be challenged and with out this we would stagnate, decay and die. Life is change and without conflict there can be no change. So should we accept conflict, should we sit back and accept that ultimately we must tolerate and allow conflict in order to survive?
I am very much of the opinion that when positing a question you should step back and allow others to take a view and to express this view. If you disagree with the opinion put forward then you should be able challenge this if you wish, this is after all how we learn, it is a perfect example of conflict leading to change. That said I have spent a period of time now and particularly the last week being confronted in many aspects of my life with those who would seek “conflict”. I believe that in my own way (small as it may be) I need to come forward a state my views on this.
There are many who claim that by engaging in conflict they seek to generate change and betterment for themselves, others or groups of people. Well it may be that this is what is being sought and I would not and will not question if it is a valid position or argument. What I will say is that there is no conflict for those who seek nothing more than the metaphorical or literal distruction of others. If you seek to eliminate views that differ from your own, if you work towards suppressing and irradiating the voices of others that challenge your world view and if you refuse to listen but instead turn your back or drown out those who seek to challenge you, with your negative expressions you are not involved in a conflict.
You have no conflict, you seek subservience stating it is my way or no way at all. We are all guilty of this at times, how do you hear others and adapt your views if what is being said fundamentally disagrees with everything you hold to be sacred? Well you open yourself up to change, you accept that none of use learn from punishment or negative reinforcement. Changing a behaviour for the fear of a consequence is not the same as changing a behaviour because we understand the impact it has on others. It is not enough to do the right thing, it must be done for the right reason.
To deny someone the care they need because not doing so would require you to get your own ego out of the way and see that others can provide care is not conflict, because you do not seek to be in conflict you seek acquiescence. To resort to threats and intimidation when someone questions your views or actions however painful and upsetting that may be, is not conflict because you only seek silence. To kill and maim others because your core beliefs differ and you persieve that as an attack is not conflict as you pursue nothing short of the irradiation of difference through elimination.
I will fight for what I believe to be right, I will engage in conflict to seek growth and I will always listen to others trying to hear the spoken and unspoken message. I will not stand back and watch as some drive forward an agenda that desires the the silence, subjugation and eradication of others. I will not and cannot in good faith turn a blind eye to actions that sow hate, intolerance or rejection. I hold this to apply to all whether I agree with your views or not, I will support your right to seek change, I will not and can not support actions that are undertaken to cause pain or that are not rectified when there is knowledge of pain being caused.
I will endeavour to do what I can to support all and work with others to move us forward, I will where I can throw my spoons into the pot to fight on behalf of others and myself. I am we and we can create change together.
Aspie and Proud