This is not as you may have thought a blog about things I like to do like say sailing, swimming or skydiving. (I don’t like skydiving but was on a role with S’s)No this is part one of the things I like to do such as particular stims, I will included what I like about them and when I do these things. It would be great to hear from you about what it is you like to do.
These are in no particular order other than as they come to me so here goes.
This is not clear cut and comes with caveats the most important of which is, if you are not my wife or son, if I didn’t initiate hugging and if it is not on my terms then the chances are good that it is not something I would enjoy. Also no hair in my face or near it, no touching my head, no patting and definitely no greater levels of intimacy. This may make it sound like I don’t like hugging and the truth is that I am not a fan of being touched full stop, touching my head is akin to declaring war. You will be doing well if the offending hand is still attached following its excursion to my head.
That said the pleasure I gain from hugging my wife a son are immense, the relaxation that comes the feeling of being connected and cared for this I could do for ever, at least in my head. My tolerance for hugging and my wish to do are at odds with each other with the former always running out before the later. This can at times leave me feeling a little sad, so I try to make up with quantity.
There are lots of elements of hugging that I enjoy but the one that is by far the best is dependence and is at opposite ends of a spectrum for my wife and son. With both there is an unconditional element of love and caring but the quality of this with my son is unique in my relationships and he is dependant on me, the feeling of happiness I get from his hugs and the sense of calm cannot be compared to anything else. With my wife the dependence is reversed with her I can be wholly vulnerable and fragile giving myself over to her care, it’s like being enveloped in the protective loveliness of bubble wrap and I don’t need my armour plate. In short I love hugs, but sorry that probably doesn’t include hugging you. That doesn’t mean I don’t love/like/care about you.
Right first off let’s all be clear whilst I know walking is good for me and I can enjoy a short walk when I say I like walking I do not mean let’s hike up a mountain or hike anywhere for that matter. What I mean is I like walking in a certain way, I think it is a form of stimming and the what and why preoccupied me for I while. Now, it’s the way I like to walk when I can, generally it involves taking short steps, slightly on the outside of my feet with gentle rocking motion. More toddler than penguin.
It’s not just the steps, my body is more relaxed a little slumped and my head is down. I feel like I am moving through a space rather than striding into it. It’s like being present but not allowing me to focus on me, the short quicker steps that have less impact on touching the ground and the rocking motion as I walk is bliss even thinking about it is distracting me from writing I genuinely love it. It is however one of my most overt stims and the one that has drawn the most offensive language such as “why are you walking like a sp–tic” (sorry for the very offensive language). Despite this it helps me immensely when navigating the world and is something I struggle to suppress (at work, no need to suppress otherwise) when I am happy or excited.
Watching and fiddling with my hand spinner
I love this, this gets me through meetings and difficult interactions, well it gets me through my whole work day. It is in essence a device that you spin in your hand and whilst it doesn’t really do more than that the feeling of it doing this, its weight and the feeling of the gyroscopic effect as you move your hand cannot be understated. It is one of those things that if you want to no why you really need to try it, you will either know or it’s probably not for you. When I’m really stressed and the coordination to spin it in my hand is escaping me I like to place it on a flat surface, spin it as fast as I can and then just watch it as it spins. Fast at first and then slower and slower, the spins journey from frenzied and super fast, through an almost lopping spin and on to the eventual stop is mesmerising and something I can watch for hours.
These are the first three things I like and I hope to create a bit of a series, I would love to hear what it is you like doing so please let me know with a comment below. Thanks for reading.
Aspie and Proud